I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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