my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
