Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She's JV to your varsity
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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