Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
