is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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