He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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