I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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