Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
