Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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