Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
