garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
