Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
