So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
