so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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