oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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