i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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