I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
