Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my liver is dry heaving
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize