I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
