Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He? As in you personified your dick?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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