The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
