He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
