So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
