haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
