Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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