Sry I called you an 8
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
