I feel like I'm in dance class right now
love makes seman taste better
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dick very happy bro
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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