i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize