i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
