y did u give ur computer a hand job?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
