I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize