Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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