i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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