I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
