There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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