I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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