I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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