Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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