it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
