I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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