There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize