We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
