end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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