I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
