You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
