Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
