Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
