party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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