If that was your dad, he is hot
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
