How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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