i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
