ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
