Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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