You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
