I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
