I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize