he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
