She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
