So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
