There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
