it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
