OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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