Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
