Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
