Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
