he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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